So,

There's this girl who I'm crazy about,and she just got together with one of my best friends. You would naturally assume that I would be devastated, wrecked, ruined, and otherwise crushed, right? Wrong. I have recently taken stock of my life and found that those who I once felt passion for, have become more like brothers and sisters to me, and in this way, when they pair up, I feel that they will protect each other, and that makes me happy. So, the girl I love is dating a man I love, I think its great. Although, to be fair, I should warn him that if it ends badly,
I'll break his dick off.
In all honesty I haven't been this optimistic about anything since, well ever! I wish nothing but good luck on the both of them, and i hope that next year holds as many pleasant surprises as this one has.
Cheerfully yours, Your grim host, William Cole Newsom.