Me, Myself and that weird guy I know...

As I re-strung my beautiful Epiphone Casino (George) I contemplated the message that I receive from my chosen forms of media.

I watch indie films, and films about indie music, and films about indie people. I listen to indie rock, alternative, and anti-mainstream jams.

I like art made by crazy people much more than any Matisse or Monet.

I read classic books about dystopian futures, or philosophical breakthroughs, or just surreal fantasy.

I watch T.v. shows on strictly non commercial stations, and watch things eschewed by polite society.

I read quotes by famous rabble-rousers, upsetting the status quo and getting in the face of the establishment.

I wear clothes that are artfully torn and disheveled, not by a designer, but by the wear and tear of real life and the dangers therein inherent.

Most of all though, I surround myself in walls made of me. I am egocentric to the point of a disorder. All I can write about, talk about, hear about, care about is ME.

I'm doing it now.

I see only variations of myself in everyone. My world is made up of the various permutations of my self that I either acknowledge or which escape my unconscious mind to plague my waking hours.

Worst of all though, any thought I put to remedying this situation is a thought about myself. I mentally take one step forward and two steps back.

Edit: Here is a Top Five sent in by an Astute Reader*

5 Parliament-Funkadelic Songs To Contemplate:

1.The Electric Spanking of War Babies
2.Supergroovalisticprosifunkstication
3.Atomic Dog
4.Loose Booty
5.Dr. Funkenstein

*Some Dumbass.

Slowly...

Have you ever had a problem that you just got sick of? Don't respond you cretin, it was a rhetorical question.

I'm officially entering a state of denial as pertains to my sordid love life. I refuse to acknowledge any advances or accept that anyone is interested. I liked being a widely disliked nobody.

From this point on, I refuse to decipher innuendo, cryptic messages or veiled sexual advances.

I will only respond to these three questions as per the topic:

1. Will you, Will Newsom, Go out with me, (insert your name here)?

2. Will you, Will Newsom, please leave me, (your name here), the fuck alone?

3. We should have sex right now.

I realize that the last one was a statement but if anyone ever said it to me I would probably respond with a question of my own ( What?).

Now that I have expelled that diatribe from my skull, Allow me to list my Top Five Say Anything Songs To Zone Out To:

1. Yellow Cat/ Red Cat

2. Slowly Through a Vector

3. An Orgy of Critics

4. Chia-Like I Shall Grow

5. Surgically Removing the Tracking Device

Paying for my crimes...

One good deed at a time.

Does it count if I intend to do good things, and do them, knowing that they will help other people, and ease their suffering, even if ultimately I'm doing it so that I don't have to believe that I am a terrible person?

Anyway, here's my Top Five Desert Island Picks for music to do good to (if that makes sense):

Daylight -Matt and Kim

Tubthumping -Chumbawumba

We are going to be friends -The White Stripes

Be Ok -Ingrid Michaelson

Lookin' out my back door -Creedance Clearwater Revival

You should know

That no matter how fucked up things get, no matter how much it hurts, how much it seems like they will never get better, how much the scars pain you, how much your memories fade, how much you feel that things have hit rock bottom, We will be here for you.

You are loved by more than a few people, and we are here to give you a shoulder to cry on.

Things may be as bad as they've ever been but that doesn't mean its time to give up.

We love you, and we want to see you do well, to see you be happy, succeed, find love.

Always remember, if you ever need someone to talk to, to cry with, to confide in, to rant at, to be angry with, to use, to abuse, to listen to, to learn from, to sit in silence with, or absolutely anything else at all, We, I, am here.

Teh Interwebz

People are stupid. Not only is the average denizen of Teh Interwebz a raving lunatic, they are incapable of recognizing regular human decency. Not that this rant means anything in particular. I could never be referring to a certain "Kenny" working at a burger king in the 203 area of Connecticut.

I have conveniently "forgotten" this douche bag's phone number, however, if he fucks with me any more, that, as well as his e-mail, home address and the name of his immediate family members, will be public knowledge.

If you ever receive a phone call from a person willing to give their name, in order to warn you of impending doom at the hands of some jackass behind the screen of a mac somewhere in Detroit, I beg of you, heed the warning. If not you may just piss off the guy making the call and end up with your credit card numbers smeared across the internet.

Homecoming

Why do I get the strangest feeling after doing things I hate that I would have regretted doing otherwise? Homecoming was a train wreck; a flurry of frustration, misery and awful music. If it hadn't been for John Steiger, I would definitely have bailed.

Few things are as frustrating as overcoming overwhelming self loathing only to deal with it in the people around you.

Slightly off topic, I have discerned that dancing is good for the mind. Doing something energetic and fun with a large group of people, especially if they"re people you know, is something like a mental vacation. I wish that some people would realize that they could use a little musical therapy.

Anyhoo, Here's my Top Five Desert Island Picks for Best Homecoming Music:

1. Black or White- Michael Jackson
2. Livin' la vida Loca- Ricky Martin
3. It's like that- Run-D.M.C.
4. Thriller- Michael Jackson
5. Can't touch this- MC Hammer